what not to do when someone asks you to use certain pronouns
- ask them why
- ask them whats between their legs
- tell them theyre wrong
- hammer them with personal questions
what to do when someone asks you to use certain pronouns:
- call them by those pronouns
Tony: Dr. Banner. Your work is unparalleled. And I’m a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous, green rage monster.
Bruce: Thanks.SCIENCE BROS
okay i might have overestimated my restraint when it comes to posting avengers stuff
I SHIP IT
maaaaan I really want to write fic for this
maybe one day
I just want you to all be prepared for the say I snap and start writing UnrequitedScienceBroTonySleepsAroundandThereAreWackyMisunderstandingsandPossiblytheWordFarceCouldBeApplied fic. It is coming.
Boxoftheskyking recorded a song for me.
Me: *la la la writing quietly*
Boyfriend: *writing fanfiction quietly*
Me: Hey, did--
J's voice: Éiníní, Éiníní, codalaígí, codalaígí
Boyfriend: SOMEONE SANG YOU A SONG.
Me: Yeah, J and I were talking about it , and--
Boyfriend: SOMEONE
Boyfriend: ON THE INTERNET
Boyfriend: SANG YOU A SONG
Me: It was J! You know J!
Boyfriend: HOW IS THIS NOT WEIRD TO YOU
shayvaalski and andthebluestblue’s character Siobhan because I have lost control of my life.
This is more or less how I picture Siobhan when she is about…twenty five? I am not sure whether she keeps her hair short or grows it out, but if she does grow it out, then it is either in a braid that is both aggressively precise and sort of messy or a bun which is completely immaculate all the time.
So I apparently reblogged something last night that offended someone, but I’m really bad at being yelled at because of ~reasons~, even if it’s just over the internet and not really directed at me, so instead of explaining why that post was something I felt the need to reblog, I just laid in my bed…
(I mean, assuming that this is referring to me, which I suppose it could not be.)
But I asked Edie “So how are you supposed to say, you know, I think that you said something shitty with shitty implications, but that you probably didn’t mean everything it said, and that you didn’t think it through or disagree with my interpretation, and that’s fine, but for me this is an important issue and I think people should put more thought into this kind of thing because while the ability to be casual about pronouns or even poke fun at preferred ones isn’t necessarily linked intrinsically to cis privilege, it is linked the the kind of privilege where the topic has never felt like it is controlling your entire life, and it feels really terrible to have that be handled dismissively, but I realize that I’m speaking from a point of view that focuses a lot on things like this, which generally either pass under people’s radars or doesn’t read as problematic, and that I don’t think it makes them bad people?” and she gave me the look of Crazy Boyfriend Why So Crazy and said you just say that, this is not that hard
my preffered pronouns are “king” and “emperor” ty
…yes, because nothing says “I respect people of all genders, and their right to use the words that make them feel most calm and comfortable” like implying that they are are on power trips. THANKS WORLD
EDIT: I would also like to point out here that it took me…five years? To be comfortable clarifying that I did indeed have preferred pronouns. And about six months ago I hit a point where I could actually correct people. Why? Because I didn’t want to inconvenience anyone. Or “cause trouble.” I thought that if I actually requested words that made me feel less like panicking and giving up, people would be somehow irritated at the presumption that I was important enough to change a word for. This kind of thing is exactly why I felt that way. ODDLY ENOUGH RECENTLY I HAVE HAD MUCH LESS TROUBLE BOTH CORRECTING PEOPLE AND CALLING THEM OUT ON DISMISSIVE TRANSPHOBIAI’ll never find someone quite like you again
I just want you all to know that I’m pretty sure the song “Touched” was my first gay experience.
My boyfriend is literally choking on his squeals.
This is my life. How is this is my life.
Reblogging because guh.
Guys, I know I have reblogged this before, and Edie just reblogged it so you all just saw it, but shut up I do not care
my wisdom tooth waited until finals week before trying to apparently grow back into my jaw and I swear to god it is hollowing out my skull
if that does not justify double-posting wet andrew scott then I do not know how to live in this world anymore
But seriously when was the last time I posted some good old-fashioned gratuitous Jim Moriarty? Too long ago
![Tomorrow is my and shayvaalski’s second anniversary (unless you can only say that if you are married? In which case it is not, it is just the second time it has been may 13 since we started dating, I guess)—but it is also mother’s day, so we celebrated last sunday instead (said celebrating mostly involved “refusing to get out of bed and accomplish anything,” which is the best kind of celebration). This is what she gave me, along with a tshirt, because Community is my very very favorite.
And that is all you need to know! But behind this exciting Read More, I will spend four hours talking about why, and also about Feelings On The Internet Because Apparently I Think Tumblr Is Livejournal Now.
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PRE-TL;DR: A TABLE OF CONTENTS: Why I watch TV, I find other people confusing and alarming and have trouble with boundaries, no really, for three paragraphs, and that’s why I watch Community, then I talk some more about why I watch Community and what I see in it, no really I fucking love this show, my girlfriend is a wicked extrovert and it is weird, but also she is the best girlfriend. Yes it is nine paragraphs
See, I watch TV in a very specific way, and it varies a lot by show. I watch Doctor Who like it is a religion. I watch 30 Rock and Parks and Rec like you listen to your parents talk when you’re almost old enough to understand them. I watch Buffy for protection, and I watch Firefly like reading your middle school yearbook. I watch Sherlock like porn, because come on guys seriously we all know what’s going on there.
Community I watch like most people have friends. I have a lot of trouble connecting to people—a big chunk of that is pure anxiety getting in the way, but there’s also just a certain point where I struggle with handling the fact that other people are different and are going to be different and want different things, all the time. I was luckily, uh, “well-socialized” by my family growing up so I can turn on my empathy and put myself into someone else’s shoes, but I find more and more that it a)is exhausting, and b)requires me to be less of a person, in my own right, than I am willing to be. And no matter how empathetic I am being, it doesn’t take care of what I find is the main issue (and the main source of anxiety for me): boundaries. Oh god, boundaries. Mother flipping social boundaries, which I have never understood and sort of suspect I never will.
I cannot read boundaries. I have two boundary modes: on and off. Either you are Outside My Boundaries, in which case I do not want to make eye contact with you, I get uncomfortable if you answer the question “how are you” with anything other than “fine” (it is social small talk! I do not want to know about your life, how is this hard!), I don’t want you to know anything other than—maybe!—my name and preferred gender pronoun, I don’t want you within six inches of me, I am old enough to recognize that sometimes you have to sit next to me on the subway but can’t we just pretend it is not happening.
Or else my boundaries are down, in which case, hi, this is my name, let me tell you about what I think of that subject and these six ones, why aren’t you telling me what you think, what do you mean you do not want to have an in-depth conversation about your sex life, aren’t we having a conversation? I have had at least six conversations with Edie, all of which can be paraphrased as ”Oh god, I wish I had someone I could tell this insane story to;” “Why don’t you tell Friend X” (that’s not paraphrased, I am just terrible at remembering names); “We’re not that kind of friends.” “…what?” I am apparently lacking the chemical in my brain that says “hey, you are comfortable with this person, but different people have different levels of intimacy, and this is a topic/story/interesting fact that will make them uncomfortable.” Or rather, I have that chemical, but I am lacking the chemical that tells me which is which. And I find that—especially as I get older and am less concerned about people Judging Me, because hi, no longer in high school—the main thing that haunts me through every conversation is oh god I am going to cross the secret line of what is appropriate to say and what is not and become a creeper/aggressive/look like I am hitting on them.
Community is a show that is all about boundaries. One of the major focuses is Jeff forming this bond with the group of Lovable Misfits, and he keeps saying he doesn’t want to hear about their lives and their problems and he is not here to fix them and they need to back off but he keeps doing it, every week! And Troy and Abed are blurring the boundary between friendship and romance, and by taking that down they’re creating a boundary between romance and sexuality, and I really want to see more of both of those things—queerplatonic friendships and nonsexual romance—in the media. And there’s a lot of work with people individual boundaries, not just their interpersonal ones—Britta’s boundary between who she wants to be and who she can be; Annie’s boundary between who she was in high school and who she is trying to be and, again, who she actually can be, and what she can and can’t demand of other people; Shirley’s boundary between being an independent woman and still loving her tool of an ex husband (which, to be fair, is a very, very familiar narrative); Abed’s boundary between TV and real life, and which one matters.
And they all get those boundaries wrong, constantly, and they fail to read each other’s boundaries and they fuck it up and there are awkward pauses and fights and festering resentment and people making the same mistakes over and over again, and no one leaves. Logically, of course, I know it’s TV, of course no one leaves, because “they were sort of a douche so we kicked them out of the study group permanently and they never came back” or “I missed a couple meetings because I was so pissed, and one thing just led to another, and I always meant to keep in touch but I never did” doesn’t make for a very cohesive or interesting narrative. But still.
Of course, I also watch Community because I like anything that jumps face-first into ridiculous and knows it, and because it’s funny, and I think it’s well done. But mostly I watch it because I can see myself in the worst of every one of the characters—Annie’s high-strung neuroticism, Troy’s inability to grasp simple concepts if they’re not presented right, Jeff’s Special Snowflake perfectionism, Britta’s inability to live up to who she thinks she should be, Abed’s inability to relate, Shirley’s desperation to be useful, Pierce’s frantic fear of becoming irrelevant—and on good days I can see some of the best, and because every time they don’t understand each other and can’t read the boundaries and fuck it up. And there isn’t a lot of “forgiveness,” unless it’s being played up that week—there isn’t a lot of forgiveness, but everyone fucks it up, every time, and no one leaves, every time.
Edie is an extrovert. She comes home from interacting with people all day and then does it some more because she just enjoys it so much. I’m an introvert; I hit my limit at about the third person I make eye contact with in a day. I don’t have friends because I can’t handle it right now, and she has trouble understanding that (the way I have trouble understanding her need to leave the house, like, every single day, even if the outdoors is full of people); she works really hard, I know, to not try to push me into it, to not wear me down with other people. Because that’s not how it works; she can’t “fix” me being an introvert, or even fix my social anxiety. She can’t teach me how to read boundaries before I cross them, or even to know when I am crossing them.
So instead, she gave me Community. Best girlfriend ever, guys.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3xry77rNf1qmp0sqo1_250.jpg)
Tomorrow is my and shayvaalski’s second anniversary (unless you can only say that if you are married? In which case it is not, it is just the second time it has been may 13 since we started dating, I guess)—but it is also mother’s day, so we celebrated last sunday instead (said celebrating mostly involved “refusing to get out of bed and accomplish anything,” which is the best kind of celebration). This is what she gave me, along with a tshirt, because Community is my very very favorite.
And that is all you need to know! But behind this exciting Read More, I will spend four hours talking about why, and also about Feelings On The Internet Because Apparently I Think Tumblr Is Livejournal Now.
